Date Time!

I'm not lesbian; I'm not bisexual; I'm not straight. I'm just curious.

Alice Walker

Many women in Second Life use the platform to explore their sexuality. I don’t mean using it as an opportunity to shag as many people as possible, (although if that’s your bag, who am I to argue!), I mean an opportunity to explore those things that have always been in your mind but society’s stigma or your life choices have prevented it from going any further. No surprise then that the “fifty shades of grey” community is alive and very much kicking, literally! If you’ve been in second life for any great length of time you can’t help to notice the Lesbian community is also comparatively extensive. I know many women who, in their real lives wouldn’t entertain the simple thought of such a relationship but in the relative safety and anonymity of second life it’s…… something to explore.

As it’s something many women haven’t considered in their real lives, getting started is the first hurdle that needs to be jumped! Just how do you initiate a conversation with a potential same sex partner? Well, you’re only going to get one shot at this on the whole so, you must be on your best game in order to ensure you get a great response!

Regardless of how you meet, you’re going to need to blow her away to get her attention, and the technique required can be different from woman to woman. Stick to your strengths, and gauge your interest’s willingness to accept that conversational style before continuing. If it’s obviously not working, you’ll need to decide whether to move onto another technique, or to simply move onto another target. Here’s a few suggestions.

Humour

For those with a good sense of humour, it’s often important for them to find a partner that shares those interests. Picture yourself watching comedy movies with her on your first date, or watching cat videos together after you move in together. Does it seem like she’s the type of person who would love these things? Do you think you have jokes of your own? Try them out on her to see how she responds.

Perhaps a little cheesy but, you’ll get the idea, as a potential chat-up line: You say, “Hey, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?” When she responds with a simple “no”, you reply with “Well, enough to break the ice.” Then you introduce yourself and see where it goes from there. It won’t work on every lady, but if you get a chuckle and a smile out of it, isn’t that a reward of its own?

Seduction

Many women will respond positively to subtle sensual advances I’m not talking about sending nudie pictures here, far from it! Instead of sending nude pictures, you can subtly hint at the things you would do to her if you got her to yourself. Subtlety is key here, as some women are not attracted to blatant sexuality, and may reject you if you’re too vulgar with them too early on. However, if she seems willing to accept the sexual attention right off the bat – feel free to continue at a rate that is comfortable for the both of you.

Again, potentially cheesy however, a possible chat-up line: “I LOVE that dress, it would look amazing on my bedroom floor.” Okay, so this sort of falls in the humour category – but as I said, it’s important to not be blatantly sexual right out the blocks. If it gets to that point, great! But consider if a sexual relationship is your primary goal before you push it to that point.

Listening

I feel that this should be something everyone gets comfortable with, especially in an environment when you can go back and check what someone has written. It’s not always about being the one to do the most talking – often women want an ear to listen to them before it gets to anything too serious. Get to know her by asking some questions. Make sure you’re not prying with questions that are too intrusive, but do allow her to tell you the things she’s comfortable telling you.

Unlike the first two, you don’t really need a chat-up line, if you’re taking this approach, you should simply be friendly and open to whatever she has to tell you.

You might find out that you’re not compatible as lovers, but you’d work great as friends – go with that! There’s always a chance that this friendship could turn into something more in the future, and if you reject the option of being friends, you’ll never know what might have been.

Intelligence

For many women, the way to their heart is through their brain. Show her you’re intellectual by offering to take her on a date to a museum or a gallery such as the Vordun, instead of one of Second Life’s many empty clubs! Don’t turn this into a competition – some women don’t have a focus on high intelligence, and that’s fine. Don’t force her to recognize your intelligence right away or you could come across as arrogant and pretentious – and no one wants that.

Often women in Second life with a modicum of intelligence will have beautifully written profiles, pick up on something in there, something like a poem or a quote however, make sure it’s something you’re familiar with, at least then, when the conversation starts to go over your head you can ask questions about the subject, this interest in itself could be just the right direction of travel!

Surprise

With some women, there’s really no telling what would attract them. For these women, it may be best to combine all the other methods into something that will show her you’re a total catch. Ideally, if you were to be in a relationship with her, you’d be showing her all these things anyway, right? Why not get it started right away?

Overall, the most important thing to realize is that every woman is different, and no two ladies will be attracted by the same chat-up line. You don’t necessarily need to master all the different conversation styles, as it’s better to be genuine anyway however, you should be aware that there’s no such thing as the “perfect approach”. Figure out what works for you, and aim to attract a woman who is responsive to this technique. You’re going to get rejected sometimes no matter how good your approach is, but you should be able to identify what your personal strengths are and apply them to your pursuits.

What’s on this week?