A very special journey!

I think trans women, and trans people in general, show everyone that you can define what it means to be a man or woman on your own terms. A lot of what feminism is about is moving outside of roles and moving outside of expectations of who and what you’re supposed to be to live a more authentic life.

Laverne Cox

This week, I feel very humbled and a little flattered! A relatively new friend spoke to me about her trans journey. That in itself is humbling, the fact that she then wrote down her story with the thought I may be able to use it in my blog sometime, in the hope that the story may speak to, and help others traveling on a similar journey... is brave and amazing!

My initial plan was to summarise the story into bite sized chunks, and that’s what I started to do however, to be honest, I was struggling a little! The note she gave me was so well written, the imagery from the words were simply beautiful so, I’ve hardly touched it at all and it may have to run over a few posts but, to take bits out felt like vandalism.

I hope the story touches you as much as it touched me, here’s part one;

Saturday January 21st 2023:

After a long and arduous journey of covid tests and snowstorms we arrived safe and sound in Quebec. The last twenty-four hours had been a veritable whirlwind, preparing my apartment for post-surgery recovery, searching for a private medical office to get a PCR Covid test, which would allow me to have my surgery on Monday, and the final fly in the proverbial ointment, experiencing a major snowstorm, one that could potentially cause flight delays and cancellations. In the end the universe came into alignment and we safely boarded our flight from Halifax to Montreal (on time).

I cried tears of joy and relief for a large part of the hour and forty-five-minute flight, the result of a lifetime of wishing and waiting for a new chapter in my life to begin, that chapter was about to be written!

After a good cry I was filled with a great calm that carried me through the rest of the day and allowed me to enjoy an afternoon in old Montreal. Once in Montreal the clinic provided a limo service from the airport to my hotel and would then pick me up on Monday for my surgery at GrS, (Gender affirmation Surgeries), Montreal. They also took care of my hotel and meals leading up to the big day! Once settled in our hotel we headed into town and toured around the historic city in the snow enjoying the sights and sounds and smells of Old Montreal. Carefully treading the icy pavement, a pilgrimage to the late, great Leonard Cohen who made this part of the city his own, walking past endless, beautiful shop windows and galleries, peering in with a smile. The only essential stop was for a scrumptious French croissant and coffee, which we took “to go”, devouring it whilst taking a taxi to La Grande roue de Montréal, the largest observation wheel in Canada, overlooking the mighty St Lawrence River. After a fifty-minute taxi drive back to our hotel we concluded our day with a delicious and well earned, gourmet pizza.

Sunday January 22nd 2023

Today we stuck close to the hotel which is conveniently situated across the street from a major shopping complex. Our first stop was to Walmart to pick up all the regular incidentals you can’t bring on planes anymore, things like personal lubricant and a soap containing a chemical called CHG (chlorhexidine gluconate). Another essential item were two enemas (I chose Fleet brand enemas as it was a running joke in our family that when Grandma was not available it was because she had a date with the fleet!). We also picked up some groceries for my traveling companion and BFF, who had accompanied me to Montreal and was going to stay with me for the next 10 days.

We got plenty of exercise mall walking and window shopping. We ending our afternoon with a visit to a local Bâton Rouge Grillhouse & Bar where we devoured some crispy cauliflower bites topped with General Tao sauce and the most amazing spinach dip, a blend of spinach, artichoke hearts & cheese, served with warm tortilla chips. And that, as they say, was that, I topped the last meal as the old physical me with a slice of white chocolate raspberry cheesecake. Then, it was back to the hotel for a nap before my surgery prep, scheduled for 4:00 p.m.

After my two “dates” with the fleet, (spread 4 hours apart cause a girl needs to rest between dates!) I was physically shattered and in need of sleep. Sleep, yeah… like that was going to happen! Tomorrow the limo service was picking me up at 7:30 I was being admitted at 8:30 a.m. with my surgery, sometime mid-morning. Oh… did I mention that I’d never major surgery before? Sleep well, it was a must and by some miracle, the sandman came and took me off on a short adventure.

Monday January 23rd 2023

I arrived at GrS Montreal around 8 a.m. It’s a very bright building, a mix of mid 70’s and modern architecture. We were met at the door by a very kindly old man who confirmed our identities and instructed us to remove our existing masks and replace them with fresh ones. I then met the receptionist who handed me a clip board with more documents to sign. Among the documents were a lot of COVID protocol reminders and questions. Another document required my initials indicating my acknowledgment of the many, many risks. Of all of the documents I signed the one asking me to confirm that I understood the following elements of the procedure…

Amputating the penis, penectomy

Removing both testicles, orchidectomy
Using the skin of the penis to construct a vulva in all cases, and the skin of the scrotum to construct the vaginal cavity if you have opted for vaginoplasty with vaginal cavity; and
Repositioning of the urethra

…Was the one document that made it all real for me. Although I had seen this document before it was an interesting feeling actually signing off on it. Being able to affirm who I had always been with one signature.

We then waited in reception for approximately 20 minutes before a nurse showed me to a small interview room where I was asked my name and date of birth a second time, along with several other health related questions. She took my blood pressure and gave me a few pills to take. Not sure exactly what one of those pills were but it really helped put me into a state of zen. I was then led to my semi private room where my new roomie was preparing to undergo her Vaginoplasty. I was instructed to put on the ultra-glamorous hospital gown and robe and to stow my other belongings. Hospital gowns are the same the world over, they’re simply not designed to be… well… worn… as soon as you do manage to get the damned thing to cling desperately to your body, it drops off within 10 seconds because you need to be a contortionist to be able to fasten the ties! Eventually, my BFF came into the room to keep me occupied as I waited for the next phase of my journey. Later she recounted that I really was in a state of bliss laughing at me when I mentioned to her “oh… the little guy is standing at attention saluting goodbye!!”

To be continued!

What’s on this week?