The worst people to have sex with
Sex is... perfectly natural. It's something that's pleasurable. It's enjoyable and it enhances a relationship. So why don't we learn as much as we can about it and become comfortable with ourselves as sexual human beings because we are all sexual?
Sue Johanson
The inspiration behind this post comes from a hilarious conversation I accidentally got involved in earlier this week with a group of girls, most of whom I’d never met before;
Girl one: OMG, I was kept up by a girl until 4am the other day
Me: Got sucked into an interesting conversation?
Girl Two: Sucketh Sex?
Girl One: OMG – YES!!
Everyone: Lol
Girl One: Met a really pretty girl at a club, started chatting and got on like a house
on fire
Girl One: One thing led to *coughs* another and we ended up in bed and OMG, talk
about the most boring sex ever
Girl Two: A ten-minute emoter?
Girl One: No, the opposite, one word every five minutes!
Everyone: “Nodding sagely!”
Girl One: I couldn’t get away! To be honest, I think I fell asleep for fifteen minutes but I
don’t think she noticed!
There’s more but you get the gist! It got me thinking about some less than fulfilling encounters I’d had. Not that I’m a “femme fatale” however, here’s a list of lovers it sucks to have sex with;
The tongue jabber
These partners treat oral like it’s an assault, and when you make-out with them, they try to emote the removal of your tonsils with their tongue. Too much tongue action will numb all body parts – It’s a vagina, not a dinning table that needs a new finish!
The look-me-in-the-eyes lover
Sometimes you want to close your eyes and think happy, sexy thoughts. But this person removes you from your moment, emoting you to look deep into their eyes. While, yes this can be “Hot as hell” with the right type of lover, there is a certain type of people who seems to think that good sex can only happen with constant eye contact. It’s not always going to be soulful lovemaking, sometimes you just have to be in the moment!
The stationary lover
Why do some people feel the need to keep sex to one position and at the same pace? There’s a whole world out there, if you click the wrong button in the menu and suddenly you’re swinging from a chandelier when you wanted to be more doggy, it’s fine, laugh it off and click again, sex needs to be fun, let go to your imagination or buy The Little Book of Kama Sutra people!!
The “Limited Emoter”
(See the story above!), nobody wants to see, “……is typing” for ten minutes but equally some sense of the other person actually enjoying the encounter might be nice! Just saying “mmmmmm” & “yessssss” 70 times makes me dry. Equally, no one wants a slutty parrot in the room!
The fast-finger blaster
Treating my private parts like a video game will get you absolutely nowhere! Relax, Chill. I’m not going anywhere, This isn’t a shooting game, it’s not button A on your x-box controller, it’s a clitoris!!
The orgasm chaser
We all deserve to enjoy sex at our own pace, to cum in our own time. I don’t need to hear “are you there yet, are you there yet, are you there yet……”. Honestly, this mantra is a TOTAL orgasm turn off ffs.
The lover who simply doesn’t pay attention
Above all, the worst type of person to have sex with is someone who doesn’t pay attention, we’ve all been there, you emote something relevant to what’s happening on the screen then you get a response ten minutes later suggesting they’ve just been to make a cup of coffee! Talk to each other, Pay attention. Ask. Communicate. Listen.
The Mesh “bits” avoider
Let’s be honest, for many, me included, sex in a virtual world is a very visually dependent activity. When someone drops their knickers or pants and all you see is a painted pussy, (don’t get me wrong, some are very good!), it’s a bit of deflator. There’s loads of great “attachments” out there people, if you spend L$5k on a head and another L$5k on a body to give your avi some realism, why not invest a little bit more in your genitalia!
What’s on this week?
Head & Eyes – LeLUTKA Head Fleur 2.5
Hair – TRUTH / Serenity Blonde + Front Wisps
Body, Hands & Feet – Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara V5.2 + [the Skinnery] Skin Toffee + Addons
Nails – ~~ Ysoral ~~.:Luxe nails Alya:.(Maitreya)
AO – Vista Animations *HUD 5.34* - NINA BENTO AO CURVY V1.2
Tattoo – Gaia TaTToo Color 50% [CAROL G]
Face Piercings – ^^Swallow^^ Indira
Necklace – KUNGLERS - Melinda necklaces
Lip Piercing – *PKC* Caroline Lip Piercing - Lelutka Fleur
Jacket – Fashionably Dead (fd) Vintage Suede Jacket - Tan LARA
Bodysuit – Miu - Roxy tan bodysuit Lara
Boots & Stockings – Reign x Berry - Catch Me Boots, Knee High - Maitreya
Pictures taken at the Beautiful Luane's World
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