More Camp this week – it’s Eurovision!!

This night is dedicated to everyone who believes in a future of peace and freedom. You know who you are – we are unity and we are unstoppable!

Conchita Wurst

I’ve hosted a Eurovision Song Contest Party for many years year, COVID years excluded of course, they’re always a lot of fun however, this year, with the contest being hosted by the wonderful people of Liverpool, I’m going bigger than ever, I’ve been decorating the outside and the inside of the house for most of the day, in fact, I started on Wednesday! I’m delighted to say, it looks like a camp, musical, fairy grotto and I’m delighted with it!

If you were thinking of a party but haven’t done anything about it, there’s still time! Here’s a few top tips for getting your camp on!

Step 1: Hide all the pale fabrics & Breakables!

Eurovision parties are long and messy (the BBC One coverage kicks off at 8pm and powers through to 11.35pm), so clear away any beige cushions, fancy throws, and valuable items.

As some of you may know, I’m very fussy about my home, a place for everything and everything in its place! I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the night if I was fussing over glass ornaments or stains on the coffee table, so hide anything that can’t cope with a little rough love.

Step 2: Decorate your home

Bunting is quite frankly the bare minimum! For added festivities, provide some glitter, confetti or party poppers so your guests can add some sparkle to the room as a sign of appreciation when the acts get really wild. High camp is the order of the day, so bear that in mind when deciding on decor.

Step 3: Prepare an international feast with booze to match!

Don’t go bonkers! You may be able to knock up fantastic Italian lamb stew but, tonight is not about gourmet dishes. Instead, assemble items bought from the supermarket to create a smorgasbord that your guests can snack on all night.

I usually give my guests a country as a theme, the idea being, they dress in the theme of the country, this could be traditional dress or something from that countries back catalogue of entrants, I also ask them to bring a dish from that particular country, keep it simple, pizza if you have Italy, shop bought Paella if you have Spain, you get the idea! Finally, I ask them to bring a drink, alcoholic or non-alcoholic associated with that country, if you have Ireland, Guinness and Prosecco or Champagne to make Black Velvet, various country-based wines or Belgium/German/Dutch/Australian beers, (Yes, Australia has an act in the Eurovision Contest, yeah I know… best not to ask!!), the only rule… make sure you bring enough, and by enough I mean an excess – Remember: the party ends when the food and drink runs out! (Don’t tell anyone but I also keep a secret stash of wine and beer, just in case!)

Step 4: Familiarise yourself with the contestants

While 43 acts are competing at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest, only 26 have made it through to the final. Every year, six countries go through to the final automatically. This includes the so-called “Big Five” – France, Germany, Italy, Spain and the United Kingdom – and the host country. Frankly, the fact that my beloved Ireland has won the contest seven times, more than any other nation, and they’re not included in the Big Five, is a complete scandal as far as I’m concerned! Although, I must confess, this years effort was fecking awful – I’ve no idea what they were thinking, come on lads!

This year's entries span almost every conceivable kind of music, from heavy metal and country and western to pop, Balkan folk and highly questionable rap! You can get a bio of all the contestants here

Step 5: Arrange a sweepstake

Everyone cares more when there’s money involved. Ask your guests to put in a pound and draw a country name from a bowl.

Step 6: Make a cheesy playlist

Once all the acts have performed, it can take a while for the votes to be counted. To ensure the party doesn’t lag at this point, prepare in advance a playlist of outrageously cheesy pop!

Do not forget to include every ABBA track ever recorded. No-one ever gets bored of those. And if you can provide a karaoke system, your guests will forget to care when their assigned country doesn’t win.

It’s not too late – get on the phone, invite people over, nip to the supermarket then camp the night up to a celebration of all things bonkers across Europe and beyond!

What’s on this week?