Nailed it – eventually!

Two things I do for maintenance: I get a manicure once a month, and I see my therapist about every six weeks. I am happy to report that, at this point, my nails crack more often than I do.

Gina Barreca

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I’m taking a cheeky week’s holiday on the beautiful Greek island of Kos, starting on Tuesday this week and I’m SOOO ready for it! One of the things that friends and family find hilarious about holiday Lisa is that, for some reason I seem to leave my brain at the airport resulting in, what has become over the years a catalogue of; “do you remember that thing you did when we were away in Portugal, now that was funny!!” It’s now become something of a holiday highlight and I have no shortage of people around me with their phones ready to capture the moment I walk into a shop window, fall over a small child or walk into the gents by accident.

I think the thing that makes it all the funnier is that usually, I’m like miss organised knickers, I’m usually the one sorting out the damned holiday in the first place or planning the dinner party with military precision – hell, I’m the one with the list! So, with only a few days to go there is rampant speculation as to what comical situation Lisa is going to find herself in this time.

Sadly, it would appear that I’m so keen not to disappoint this time, it’s started early and the comedy of errors emerged on Wednesday this week!

Because of the job I do is relatively manual I don’t tend to wear false nails, let’s not even go to the funny nursing stories doing the rounds about missing falsies! So, as a preholiday treat I tend to go for a little pedicure and manicure pampering. I’m not entirely sure why but getting your nails done is a little like getting your hair done, you find someone you trust and you stick with them, I don’t just stick to the same salon, I stick to the same nailist! Imagine my disappointment then when I ring said salon and find my trusted nail technician no longer works there – apparently, she’s upped sticks and moved to New Zealand with her builder husband – who knew! The receptionist suggests I book in with someone else, extoling the skills of the remaining staff, I gracefully and politely decline.

I decline because I’m not trusting my pampering to an unknown stranger, I at least need a recommendation from someone I trust! So, I activate my pampering network to seek advice and direction. The first person I spoke to came up trumps, I knew she would, she’s an ex-model with a brain who now works as a deputy editor for a well-known women’s magazine. She refers me to a little salon a little bit further away than I would have liked however, I’m assured that they are the best in this neck of London, I’m told you don’t need to book a specific individual because in this place, they’re all really good! She sends me the number and I call and make an appointment which was last Wednesday.

So, with the thought of warm sun tanning my pale body I set off for my 9am appointment. After catching two busses and then hopping onto the Jubilee line I arrive not far from the shop which I’d found on google maps – so far so good. The salon is in a relatively new shopping centre that was thrown up a couple of years ago, it has a very fancy website but I was surprised that it only got 3.8 stars on google, on my friend’s recommendation I thought it would have been higher - *shrugs shoulders*.

I find the place with relative ease and, like the website, it looks VERY smart. Brightly I go through the door and I’m met by a smiling receptionist who asks me if she can help. I explain that it’s my first time here and I’ve come for my preholiday pampering. She takes my name and peers at the computer screen with a bit of a frown – “are you sure you booked it for today?” Incredulously I tell her that indeed it was booked for today as I go on holiday next Tuesday, she looks again, turns back to me and shakes her head. “I’m sorry but we haven’t got anything for anyone in that name this week or next, I’ve even looked at the week after and there’s nothing there either.” I’m now starting to get quite indignant, insisting that I definitely made the appointment, she looks at me blankly and turns the computer screen around – the computer said no!

I explain that I’ve had to get two busses AND the tube to get here so could they possibly fit me in anyway? “I’m really sorry but we’re a technician down and we’re fully booked for the rest of the day – could you come back tomorrow?” I explain that isn’t possible as I’m working! She then suggests Saturday morning and I agree to come back. I’m now cross and as I’m in a shopping centre I engage in some retail therapy! Before I hammer my debit card, I send my friend a “you’ll never guess what happened” text. About thirty second later she calls me. She tells me that so out of character for them and she’s really sorry. She tells me she knows the manager who she will call straight away and see if they can squeeze me in.

She calls me back a few minutes later – “Lisa, they do have your appointment and they’re ready for you!” I explain that’s not the case as I’ve literally just been in and spoken to the receptionist and my name isn’t on the list. “honestly Lisa, I’ve just spoken to the manager and your name is in the book, Pedicure and Manicure”. All of a sudden, the penny started to drop, what did she mean “in the book?” I ask my friend if she meant the computer? “OMG, Lisa I know they’re in a ultra-modern building but they moved in there a few years ago, they’ve been around like forever, they’re totally old school and they still use a diary!”

I ask the question I’m now dreading the answer to – what was the name of the place again? “The Nail Spa”. I turn around and look at the window in front of me – I’m stood outside “The Nail Bar”. I was at the wrong salon now feeling like a total muttonhead! I tell my friend my mistake and after she finishes laughing her head off, she tells me where the place I’ve actually booked is – luckily, it’s literally about ten minutes’ walk away so, she tells me she’ll call the manager back and tell them I’ll be a little late.

When I get to the “Nail Spa”, I’m welcomed by yet another receptionist with a knowing smile. “Don’t worry, it happens all the time!” I’m actually sure it doesn’t it’s a pretty dumb thing to do however, it was nice of her to try and make me feel less of an idiot! The pedicure and manicure was done by the most beautiful Ukrainian girl I’ve ever seen and honestly, it’s the best I’ve ever had subsequently, I’m now resplendent with bright orange gels and matching toe nails – result! (eventually!!).

What’s on this week?