Making friends in the big scary city!

In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Khalil Gibran

I interviewed ten people for a couple of vacancies I have this week, seven of the ten were looking to start a new life in London, two were from overseas and of the seven only three had actually visited London! Question is – are they crazy? Well, I’d rather think of them as brave, it’s what I did some twenty odd years ago and despite a few bumps along the way, it’s the best thing I ever did!

One of the toughest things when you first come to the city is making friends. You don’t have to be socially awkward or a total recluse, it’s a simple fact of life that when you move to a busy city, where nothing ever seems to stop, finding the time to make friends is challenging.

Whether you’re new to the city or have been living here for years, inevitably there always comes a time when you want to make new friends in London. It’s no secret that we need friends to feel happier and more connected to society. Even the most introverted Londoners still need someone to talk to every now and then.

Living in such a big city means that people come and go all the time. Living in London for many years, I’ve been through several different rounds of friendship groups. Each time they’ve slowly dissolved as one-by-one, on the whole, friends don’t suddenly stop being friends, London for many is something they need to “get out of their system” so, inexorably friends moved away. Some found new jobs abroad, others returned home. I got to a point where I wasn’t interested in even chatting to people if I knew they were only here for a limited time. Interestingly, it’s something I do now in Second Life, a quick exchange tells you whether someone is here because they love the experience and not because they want some kind of transient “thing”.

It sounds a bit harsh, however if you’ve been through the effort to make new friends so many times then you can probably relate. Why? Because making new friends in London, and as an adult in general, can be seriously hard work.

It’s not enough to just go to work every day and come home again, and expect to meet a whole new group of friends along the way. It takes a lot of effort to make new friends in London. That means saying “yes” to after work drinks when we really want to say no and snuggle on the couch watching reruns of breaking bad. Downloading an app like Pal and joining in on some fun activities to meet new friends. Or going to that London New Girl meet up on our own, even though it’ll feel a bit intimidating not knowing anyone there. It’s tough and it takes considerable effort when you’re tired!

I consider myself fortunate that a work in an environment where people want to use the experience “to get it out of their system”, So in light of this, I’m going to share some fool-proof ways to make new friends in London. Here’s where to start.

Exercise – but make it fun!

I know it’s intimidating and perhaps even a little expensive but joining a local gym is a great way to meet new people. My club has loads of classes such as Zumba, Body Attack, Pilates, Circuits, the lists seems to be endless. The thing is though, people who do these classes do them because they want to do them, they enjoy them so, if you want to meet likeminded people, pick the class you’re going to enjoy, chances are you’ll meet someone in exactly the same boat.

Learn something new

It’s always fun to learn something new, plus it’s a good way to meet people! Check out a really cool website called Hotcourses, a fantastic platform to find nearby courses in just about anything. Bond over painting, wine tasting, astrology, knitting, philosophy – whatever takes your fancy, you’ll sure to find like-minded people.

Download Pal app

I came across Pal a few months ago through one of my other new recruits, and I knew we were a perfect match right away, I love it! Their app is pretty much a much better-looking, more user-friendly version of the London New Girl Facebook group, (Also good and worth a look though!).

Pal connects people in the neighbourhood based on their activities, perfect in a huge city like London where the closer our friends are, the better. The app is like an alternative to Tinder really, but for friends only. Whether you need a gym buddy, someone to go to a gig with or want to find a mum meet up in your area. There are different categories to choose from to keep it relevant.

Volunteer

Volunteering is a great way to meet new people, and do some good whilst you’re at it. As luck would have, London was voted European Volunteering Capital in 2016!

Check out The Sock Mob, a friendly group of volunteers working with homeless people in the city. On a mission to cut through misconceptions, prejudice and stereotypes, “mobbers” take the time getting to know the people on the streets, forging meaningful links rather than just handing out food and supplies — join a mob to see a different side of London, and connect with other mobbers over a beer at the end of the night.

You can also check out Hands On London, a popular charity facilitating community based volunteering.

Meet via music

Something very close to my heart. For something a little bit different – but nonetheless awesome – check out Learn to Uke for their 4 week ukulele course. You’ll learn to play your first song within an hour, and later be invited to alumni meetups and jams. In all honesty, I’ve not done it but I keep promising myself I will – 2019 is the year of the Uke!

If you can’t make bond over a brightly coloured baby guitar, what can you bond over?

Consider co-living

If you’re feeling really passionate about meeting new people, why not integrate social connectedness it into your everyday lifestyle and explore co-living? For reasons I won’t go into, (it’s a lonnnng story), I found myself lining in a big house in South London on my own – God it was lonely! So, taking some advice from a solicitor friend I advertised two spare rooms via my work noticeboard. It might sound pedantic but, make sure you interview potential candidates rigorously. If you do, you’re going to find people that will ultimately become your Gym buddy or even your Gin buddy! Again, people come and go however, through this arrangement I’ve made five new sisters over the last ten years or so and not once have I regretted anyone coming to live with me.

So, the advice I give to my new team members is, don’t be intimidated and be prepared to put some effort in, ultimately the effort you put in, at least in my experience, is paid back in spades! Happy Friend Hunting!

What’s on this week?

Head, Eyes & Teeth – Catwa Head, Rigged Eyes and teeth - Catya v3.2

Hair – MINA Hair - Donna Sue, Blonds, it's a gatcha at this round of The Epiphany

Skin – [theSkinnery] Amber (Catwa Applier) sorbet

Body, Hands & Feet – Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara V4.0

Physics – Temptation – 5.5 BONUS C+ D+ SuperTease - Physics

AO – VISTA ANIMATIONS *HUD 5.33*ZOE FULL BENTO-V1 NOFACE

Shape – [Elle et Lui Style] Tiffany Shape, Catwa Bento Head Catya - Maitreya Body

Nose Piercing – ^^Swallow^^ Princess Piercing Nose 01

Tattoo – [CAROL G] Nomadic Owl - Black

Earings – EF: Flux Fatpack @ the January FaMESHed

Rings – (Yummy) Comfy Cozy Ring Set - Maitreya