Women are either bisexual or gay but 'never straight – Part Two

Feminism isn't about hating men. It's about challenging the absurd gender distinctions that boys and girls learn from childhood and carry into their adult lives.

Robert Webb

Following on from last week’s blog I’ve been reading about gender. This week I will try and explore how society is changing to accept and even embrace gender diversity and identity. What follows is a synopsis of an article written by Dr Helen Schechter, Ph.D.

Historically, whether through illusion, construct, or religious bias, sexual orientations accepted by society were easily and clearly defined. Those who were attracted to and had sex with people of the opposite assigned gender were deemed heterosexual or “straight.” Homosexuals, gays and lesbians, were attracted to and had sex with people of the same sex. A person’s orientation was assumed based on the apparent sex of his or her sexual partner.

As time has moved on waters have muddied a bit by the acknowledgment of bisexuality, defined as the ability to be attracted to and have sex with people of either male or female gender. Initially, in the popular imagination, bisexuals were seen as immature or confused, either closeted homosexuals or curious straight people. But eventually mainstream society, got our head around bisexuality. Society began to move toward accepting that it was a genuine sexual orientation, just like lesbian, gay, and straight.

Later still, we made a place for love in all of this. What is still called “sexual” orientation was acknowledged to be not only about sex, but about emotional attachment as well. Having a homosexual orientation, then, came to mean being sexually and emotionally attracted to those of the same sex or assigned/perceived gender.

Sexual orientations; heterosexual, homosexual, and even bisexual, were seen to be mutually exclusive, if you were in that box, that’s where you stayed. Further, sexual attraction or desire, sexual behaviour, and sexual identity were assumed to be congruent; same gender sexual attraction or behaviour identified individuals as lesbian, gay, or bisexual. All other gender sexual attraction or behaviour assumed heterosexuality. However, results of sexuality research over the last twenty years have turned societies paradigm of sexuality on its head. What we’ve learned is that while these assumptions may be true for some of the perceived majority, they are not true for all.

Turns out Alfred Kinsey, the 20th century sexologist whose life’s work was dedicated to human sexuality was right! Sexuality not only exists on a continuum, but some people can and do move on that continuum across their lifespan. Sexuality can be fluid, varying across time and situation. Sexual orientation appears to be comprised of many variables, not just sexual behaviour. More contemporary revelations have shown gender to be a continuum and independent of biological sex or gender assigned at birth.

The simple truth is, desire and behaviour relative to orientation and identity do not always line up as neatly as society would like. Some completely straight individuals have unexpectedly found themselves falling in love with and engaging in sexual behaviour with those of the same gender. And some people secure in their homosexual orientation have unexpectedly become partnered with those of the opposite gender. How could this happen? What does it mean?

From what I’ve read, research does not prove that sexuality is fluid, only that it can be. Studies have shown that sexual fluidity is not uncommon. It is found more frequently in women than men, though it clearly exists in both sexes. This does not necessarily mean that we all experience a degree of fluidity, nor that we are all really bisexual.

It does not mean that coming out as gay or lesbian is reversible or a phase. Nor does it imply that sexual orientations are a choice, or that non-heterosexual people can be guided or taught to embrace heterosexuality. It simply means that while the majority of people experience a stable sexual orientation corresponding with their sexual and romantic attractions or behaviour, many of us do not.

What I'm wearing this week;

Head & Teeth - .LeLutka. Head.Simone 3.0

Eyes - CATWA UN-RIGGED EYE V1.1 - (Custom eye texture)

Hair - .Entwined. Ashley

Eyebrows - Glam Affair - Katya suggest eyebrows 01

Skin - LURE: Emily (Carnation)

Body, Hands & Feet - Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara V4.0

Nail Varnish - alaskametro<3 "Classic/Solid" Slink/Omega/Maitreya nail polish applier

AO - VISTA ANIMATIONS *HUD 4.14*MIRIAM BENTO AO-V1B

Physics - 2.- Sutile -Subtle.~ Physics by Temptation

Shape - Custom Made

Tattoo - Nomadic Owl - Black [CAROL G]